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Side Quests of Life

Two friends and I exchanged “secondary objectives” for each other to complete during the span of their “Main Quest” a.k.a. their life.

KRIS:

  • Become a glass-blower; create a flawless glass dildo. (Leah)

  • Cut down a 2’ diameter tree with an axe, and turn it into a canoe. (Kevin)

LEAH:

  • Learn how to woodwork with a chainsaw; create a 3’ high sculpture of SpongeBob, Patrick, and Squidward engaging in a ménage à trois. (Kris)

  • Get onto Sesame Street in a speaking role that bears your face. (Kevin)

KEVIN:

  • Have completely-nude sex (with a consensual partner) with a watchful goat standing at your side. (Kris)

  • Construct an enviable treehouse with working electricity and plumbing. (Leah)

Prizes:

1. Fishing Pole (and quest-appropriate patch)

2. Steak Dinner (and quest-appropriate patch)

3. Bomber Jacket (for patches)

Tentative fourth prize is a Go-Kart (and quest-appropriate patch)

Rules:

  • Must beseech the group for participation.

  • Must propose a semi-difficult or embarrassing challenge for everyone else. Challenges will be considered by the group and approved by a quorum. Only then will challenges be devised for you by each member of the group.

  • Must accept all challenges given to you. Certain personal advantages will be taken into account for your challenges. (Ex: If wealthy, the minimum monetary investment for your challenges will be scaled up to negate the ease of buying victory. If innately beautiful, challenges will not rely on charm or making connections. If savvy with tools, challenges will not demand craftsmanship or will demand incredible amounts of craftsmanship.)

  • It is up to you how and when you complete your side quests. There is no time limit for completion; the only consideration is your inevitable death.

  • All prizes are paid-for by the others.

  • This is a chance to learn or do something you’d never undertake otherwise, so have fun with it.

Original document created 08/22/2015.

America Park, v.2

America Park, v.1

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