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Fantastic Ideas (so fantastic, in fact, that the last writer moved back from Manitoba)

As if I have the money, connections, or resources to make any of these happen… If someone does get inspired and make any of these, could you at least throw a free unit my way? Thanks.

 

  • Bags or tubes of different crumbled cookie pieces, called “Crumbles”.

  • A mega-multiplayer, open map, online game set during a zombie apocalypse. ~15 people per group and you explore a great expanse of the US and you can set up strongholds, kill straggling zombies or herds of zombies, and befriend or fight other groups (AI bots or real people — you never know). There’d be a broad storyline as well as a period of time you have to survive for, and you can harvest/scavenge resources and customize characters, weapons, vehicles, forts, etc.

  • So there's corndogs and hotdogs, right? And then there are burgers, so… what if there was a corndog-version of a hamburger? Yeah.

  • A sleep-number bed that hardens as hard as possible when your alarm clock goes off, inspiring you to wake up by becoming seriously uncomfortable.

  • An airline with the style and arrangement and interior design of a plane from the late 1950s, but with the technology of today. Also, overhead storage is now under-seat storage, where you lift up the seat and put your luggage inside (although must consider heaviness of pulling items then out of the storage space). The plane would have seats facing others for groups, as is the case on commuter trains, and a lounge in the back with a cash bar and nice chairs.

  • Inflatable water-skimming dirigibles: massive inflatable crafts (with inflatable interior furniture) that can hold a good number of people and float in large bodies of water, like boats or blimps that are made of inflatable plastic.

  • A playground for adults. It’s child's playground equipment but scaled-up, for adults. The scale effect is to make an adult feel like a kid again. There could be more dangerous equipment and equipment requiring less flexibility, too.

  • Yankee Candle came out with a new line of "man scents" with fresh-cut grass and football leather and beer, but they left one market untapped: a candle smelling like Wet Pussy, aka a fertile vagina. It would be called Tender Farmland, because subtlety. There would be a partner candle for females called Seed, which is a subtle way of saying that the candle smells like semen. Buying those two candles together gets you a free smaller candle called New Baby, which smells like a new baby, aka a clean tiny human. Because that's what happens when you get frisky and mix your new Seed with the Tender Farmland.

  • Also, candle smell: Road Trip — the combined smells of gasoline, fresh air, hot coffee, cold french fries, and an old "new car" odor tree that’s been under the seat for a few years.

  • Sandwich kebab: the parts of a sandwich are in cubes and clumps, and are laid-out in the typical sandwich array but the cubes and clumps are pierced by a stick.

  • A glass toothbrush holder for the bathroom counter that keeps toothbrushes out of cabinet, keeps them in reach on counter, and looks cool and nice: a glass revolving door with six/eight slots rather than four and only the one open door space rather than two opposing door spaces (like a translucent lazy susan whose spinning rack was separated like a pie with walls between slices). that way the toothbrushes not in use are kept safe behind glass from toilet-launched airborne E. coli and other particles. IT’S LIKE A REVOLVING DOOR BUT WITH EIGHT SLOTS AND ONE DOOR. Jeez, why didn’t I just say it that way the first time? It’s for toothbrushes. Christ. It’s a toothbrush thing. Someone call Bed Bath & Beyond.

  • A cookbook of just generally good food, of any culture, and it's called "Food."

  • A siren you can put atop your car that has ONE usage in it (perhaps a killswitch in the motherboard that only allows the light and noise to be activated ONCE); you can pick ONE up at the hospital, at cost and registered, and you can use it if you need to drive quickly but legally to a hospital, and don’t have time to wait for an ambulance (such as with childbirth nearing or an accidental amputation); when you arrive at the hospital, you can then turn yours in and they’ll make sure it’s yours (and your only one—and if it’s not yours, then at least that it was used with the owner’s permission or else there’s a fine) and then they’ll reset it.

  • A jacket that is also a backpack, like a track bag mixed with a light jacket, with the big backpack pocket sewn into the back of the jacket, with drawstrings; ideal for hiking.

  • 1920s-style casino; blackjack, craps, poker, roulette. slots? multiple bars. smoking allowed. live [jazz/swing] music. resurrect benny goodman.

  • Bunk bed air mattresses.

  • Parfume (perfume, air freshener) scented like cotton candy and lemonade.

  • A kind of ice cream called “Quad-Ripple,” which is 4-kinds of Neapolitan (mint, vanilla, chocolate, strawberry) and 4-kinds of swirled topping (chocolate syrup, strawberry syrup, caramel syrup, and marshmallow paste). Maybe apply the toppings perpendicular so that you actually get 16 combinations?

  • I want a luxurious dirigible; a zeppelin with elegance and a lounging, vice-driven atmosphere, for us peons to feel sophisticated and stylish in. Braggadocio.

  • Whitewater bumper boats.

  • "Get a Job" kits, which have professional clothing, resume templates, shaving gear and makeup, shampoo, deodorant, perfume, and a list of simple employment leads. Free, for homeless people.

  • Intercity courier service called Comeback. Low overhead; only two cars to start (two employees, one per car); eventually get a moving van. Shuttle parcels, people, medical equipment, corpses, cakes, etcetera — even help people move between residences. Twofold slogan: "We Deliver."

  • Infuse prescription glasses with Rain-X to make glasses that don't gather dumbass drops of water. Then, we become millionaires.

  • Playboy killed pin-ups, but porn is free and Playboy is dead, so we bring back pin-up calendars and posters. (Can attempt to get famous and upstart plus-size/curvaceous models to pose, and do the modern-take on the old classic concept.)

  • Bamboo farms. Cheap, quickly replenishing, strong wood. $$$ — then grow enterprise into developing aeroponics (tower farms—the skyscraper farms in the middle of cities).

  • Think Ableton Live for VR. In headset, can see a row of instruments or objects ahead of you (you choose at log-in) and you can grab them with your two hand remotes: clicking while holding triggers the sound to record (which you can do once or have set to be a portion of a loop, timed to a measure on your whim); moving it vertically changes pitch, moving in and out changes volume, moving horizontally does something (maybe timbre or a sound effect of choice), and tilting it forward or back changes intensity. And you're essentially orchestrating the production of music, with your hands — and you could either do so in empty black space, a comfy sound studio, or at a raving concert with lights and jumping fans. Only thing is it's a learning curve, to be able to manage the creation of loops and measures, and movements, and controlling the growth and decline and hooks of song — but that's the joy of it. And you can record your songs — and even have it hooked up to outboard speakers and play/create your music live, or publish to Soundcloud.

  • Magazine like "PEOPLE", but it’s actually about Real People — instead of fluffy and juicy and topical stories about celebrities, it's the same kind of stuff about random people in the country who just deserve a little recognition, praise, or awareness for doing what they do and being themselves. Like, perhaps a particularly nice engagement story, or a particularly uplifting cancer survival story, or a review of a project someone strove to create, whether it's a solo album or a DIY crib. Essentially, "People" about real people—which I suppose is kinda like taking the best parts of any day on reddit and transforming it into a magazine!

  • Magazine (online if not print) called "Desk" with artsy modernist scripture font and bright spacious photo cover of the main subject of the edition. Each edition focuses on one writer in particular, and their writing space, and their organization and tools for working, and their cataloging system or outlining method or brainstorming or researching or resourcing, or advice they have on the industry or the art form or the craftsmanship or the life of a writer, and always a featured article (of course) about their writing space, and another about their journey from young aspirant to full-fledged professional: what truly mattered on the route to publication and the road they traveled to get there, and who they met along the way, etc.

  • Twitter account called John Q. Public that tweets sensible and unbiased "what we're all really thinking despite what the pundits are saying and the politicians are doing" tweets about topical news and issues.

  • Mental Olympics (Cerebral Olympiad): chess, debate, math proofs, puzzles (logic, crossword, sudoku, physical, jigsaw), escape room, etc. International every-four-years event but operating distinct from the IOC.

  • Summer camp for adults.

Original document created 08/27/2013.

Ideas for Places

Dumb Ideas (so dumb that the last writer quit his job and moved to Manitoba)

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