Print-off a bunch of yellow labels that simply say "do not remove label" and stick them to things in various, undeserving stores.
Classified advertisement: "DICK LOST IN WAR. (If found, please contact…)"
Instead of "Jinx, you owe me a coke," their punishment is "you have to be a Human Accordion for half an hour," which is when they have to make a soft drawn-out noise with every inhale and exhale, like an accordion in the midst of being played.
T-shirt that says "Kiss Me, I'm Grandma."
Parodic heavy metal band, where all of the verbiage is provided by Google's GPS assistant, professionally and apolitically directing you places.
A hat with an embroidered phrase in front: "subprime mortgages".
Apron depicting a steamy moist thanksgiving turkey and beneath it are the stacked words "MASTER BASTER" in a groovy ‘1970s funk album’ font.
The "real" version of the board game "The Game of Life." For instance, "Accidentally Pregnant: take a salary cut of $10k or give up all of your life tokens." And, soon into the game, "STOP: continue with College, or join Military", and ‘military’ is its own separate long track with war- and morality-related tiles, like "seen some shit, take a life token."
Make meatloaf and mashed potatoes, and then arrange/stack them like a birthday cake: meatloaf as cake, mashy P's as filler layers, and with the frosting being chili, expertly applied with a squeezy icing bag. Serve with Vanilla Bean ice cream.
To Catch a Predator but replace Chris Hansen with Bigfoot -- and he's angry.
Don Ramen: Italian-style pasta meals using ramen noodles as a cheaper base substitute, and more easily transportable, malleable; great for bustling urban, commercial, or collegiate environments. Could combine Italian culinary stereotypes with Japanese chibi for marketing (logo, slogan, colors, architecture, etc) and the mascot could be a chubby little hairy Italian grandpa named Tommaso Ravioli, “the tiny a-stinky man.”
"My 36-Septillion-Ton Life" — a collaboration between TLC and Marvel, about how Galactus is managing his weight.
Lowercase versions of numbers.
Butt plugs that are silver discs (like your typical ear gauges) and whose faces are, instead of a smooth surface, an extruded hollow design, a la the starter set of Wilton-brand piping tips, for use with cake icing bags. The designs on their faces—stars, arcs, flat, etcetera—make it so that your poop comes out in long fancy cords, as would icing when dispensed onto a cake. (See also Play-Dough for design ideas, like the spaghetti-hair one, but as poop.)
Original document created 06/24/2016.