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Dumb App Ideas

PoonTunes – Like Pandora, but with a specific algorithm and song selection to supply you with music to have sex to. There’s a ten-second blend between songs, to ensure there’s no silent moments where you have to hear the other person making human noises.

iTelephone – The children’s game of Telephone but instead of whispering a sentence, you draw a picture: the first person traces a picture and sends it; the next person traces that, and so on, until a certain number of people have done it or a certain number of cycles have gone through; then you are all given a flip book of the final results, seeing how far off track you all got.

ImprompTrainer Vibration alarm goes off at random points during daylight hours with a request for a random number of reps of a random exercise, and you're on an honor code with the app to follow it (and do the exercise no matter what) since you are using it to get fit.

Mirror App – It’s just a reflective-looking picture, like that “silvery blue with some streaky lines on it” type of picture so it looks aesthetically like a mirror, but it’s just a picture; it doesn’t function. This app would be $0.99 and useless and a trap for stupid people.

Train Tracker – For MBTA (or any subway); trains have trackers on them so that they can show up as moving blips on a map. You can focus on one line or a whole system. Trains can be tagged and tracked to show the times they've arrived at other stations and are expected to arrive at others (clearly marked as "expected," like maybe "expected: 0:57+"). Also, have a status bar for the condition of the subway traffic—whether it's going normal speed or if there are delays, and where and what those delays are.

Dex – Taps into your ringtone settings, but instead of being a singular noise, the code randomly chooses a soundbite from a cache of 151 facts about the original 151 Pokémon, as this functions like the canonical Pokédex that spouted-out info blasts at Ash whenever he scanned a new Pokémon.

Skwzly – Landlord rating app/site. Ratings are anonymous.

Styler – App that analyzes your face like Snapchat's Smart Filters/Lenses and maps your hair, and you can cycle through different hairstyles to see what you'd look like with different haircuts.

 Original document created 09/09/2013.

Why did I write down these dreams?

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